One more first day...
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Forever wishing Sheridan were here for one more first day...
This was thirteen years ago.
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Two little girls standing side by side on the first day of school, with bows in their hair, brand-new shoes on their feet, and an entire lifetime waiting for them.
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So much promise in one photograph.
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Back then, we worried about teachers and backpacks and whether they would find their friends at recess.
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We never imagined there would come a September when only one of our girls would get a first day.
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Instead, we are left looking at pictures like this and wondering about all the first days that were stolen from her — and from us.
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But when I look at these two little faces, I also see something grief cannot take away: they had each other. They grew up together. They loved each other. And Sheridan filled the years she was given with so much joy, friendship, compassion and life.
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So today, alongside the heartbreak, I am trying to hold onto gratitude.
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Gratitude that these two little girls had twelve more years together after this picture was taken. Gratitude for every school morning, every argument, every laugh, every vacation, every ordinary day we never knew would someday feel extraordinary.
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And gratitude for Madelon, who now has to keep walking forward for both of them.
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We would give anything to be taking Sheridan’s Loyola sophomore-year first-day picture today.
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Anything.
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But because we cannot, we will keep carrying her into every new beginning. We will keep saying her name. We will keep telling her story. And we will keep trying to build a world worthy of all the promise that was once standing right here in this photograph.
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Forever our two girls. Forever proud of both of them.
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And forever wishing Sheridan were here for one more first day...
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